Order and fun

We have been struggling a bit over here at my house with temper tantrums...of the 9 year old variety. A lot has changed in our life so I can understand the frustration, confusion and anxiety. Nevertheless, I have felt deep down in my heart that there IS something I can and should do to help.

After a day of listening to conference talks, cleaning, praying and searching for answers I was left with nothing to do but get to work and come up with a plan...it reminds me now as I type of the brother of Jared's experience. Once I started planning a few very great things happened. I was reminded of a parenting book entitled, "Positive Parenting with a Plan (Grades K-12): F.A.M.I.L.Y Rules", by Dr. Matthew A. Johnson that our dear Paula suggested I read and implement to help create a sense of order and security in our home after the divorce. I bought it months ago but have never gotten around to actually reading it.  I pulled it out last night and began to read the words in the book...I was immediately filled with that comforting peace that comes from the Holy Ghost helping us know we are on the right track. In addition to the peace I felt grateful again for education. Grateful the Lord inspires each one of us to develop our talents and gifts so we can share them with others. I felt certain as I read that I was reading good words and IF I implemented them prayerfully in addition to other things the Lord would have me do I would be able to help my little family. Incredible... it reminds me of Julie B. Beck’s talk, Mother's who know.

In addition to the book I decided to create a more concrete and predictable schedule for my days. And that I needed to plan for fun, and exercise, time to be together and to be able to listen to my kids and talk with them. I made the plan. It feels too sacred to share and then on the other hand it seems too wonderful to conceal. It was a neat little planning session with the Lord. I would have an idea and he would agree or disagree, suggest, encourage and confirm. Priceless.

This morning I woke up a little bleary eyed and unsure the plan was going to work...silly, I know. I decided something was better than nothing and after all I knew that it wasn't even my plan it was the Lord's.  The first items on the agenda were to straighten up rooms, make beds, say prayers and...Wait for it...go to the park. In the morning before school you ask? Yep, it was the only time I could find to fit in play time with my kids. They are usually up at that hour and even though its embarrassing to admit it I have gotten into the habit of  asking Grant to get cereal for him and Spencer and kind of sort of direct the morning activities in a state of partial slumber (it really has turned into quite a skill--I sleep in an awake sort of way till I hear a task being finished then I call out the next task) I sleep in a lot longer than I should getting up in time to direct (in an upright and fully alert way) the last minute things to be done before we leave for school.

I have known this is a bad thing... (I even read once that unsupervised kids develop a homeless kid mentality and they tend to have more aggression) now I don't want you to think I let them run wild. For the most part I would say my kids are maybe even over-supervised. I always know what is going on with them and try and keep them on a reasonable schedule. It is just those early morning hours that get me.

I was directed to nip that right in the bud. And so I did. The results were beautiful...Grant and Spencer were thrilled with the Park surprise this morning and even more so that I joined them in cleaning up their room.  A warm happy feeling was in our home...until I got mad at Grant and yelled at him for being too happy, singing and ignoring my directions as we tried to get out the door. You can't win 'em all I guess. The last bit of directions came from the mouth of my very sweet and dear 9 year old after I apologized for getting upset and yelling and asked what I could do better to help him.

And he said;  Don't yell at me when I do something wrong, and listen to me when there is a problem so I can explain my side and or get help.

Typing these words breaks my heart...how did I miss that?  How did I forget those simple things?

I make a lot of mistakes and I always will, but thank goodness I am not in this alone. I am so grateful for prayer and the answers that come and for sweet little kids who have so much more to teach me than I often realize.